


Written Confessions

by Llama1412



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-20
Updated: 2010-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:34:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23484652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llama1412/pseuds/Llama1412
Summary: Arthur confesses a few things.
Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Kudos: 16





	Written Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on livejournal in 2010-2011. Posted unedited.

Guinevere,

I feel I owe it to you to be honest. I've tried to be a man you would like, someone worthy of you. In some respects, I feel as if I have succeeded. However, I have certain confessions I need to make.

I have tried loving you. In some ways, it is easy. You are a wonderful person, one of the few I can trust to be honest with me, and I know you would make a great queen, given the chance. You are someone that deserves far more appreciation than I can offer you.

If I could make you my queen, I would. You would be great for the people and great for the kingdom. But I owe you more than the position of a figurehead. While I value your opinion, I know that the Court has many prejudices still to overcome and I'm afraid that, even as queen, you would not be given the regard you deserve.

As I said, I owe you more than I've given. I will confess now that, while I do love you in a fashion, it is a love similar to the way I love my people, my kingdom. You deserve someone to love you for who you are, but I cannot be that person. Somehow, another has already taken my heart.

I'm sorry. I know you expected better from me than to lead you on and I really wish I could have lived up to those expectations. I should have told you from the start that my heart was not free to give. Instead, I have forced myself into your life and given you complications where there should have been none, not on my account. I hope that you can find happiness with Lancelot, if it is to he your heart belongs. I owe him more than one apology as well for interfering in your life so. If I had been honest from the start, as I should have been, perhaps he would not have left after Hengist's castle and you two could have had many happy memories already.

Pendragon men are not very good with honesty. There are many secrets we keep for state and political reasons, but more than that, there are secrets that we are afraid to face ourselves. My secret is this: my heart belongs to Merlin. Whether he shall except it or not, I do not know, but I can no more retrieve my heart than cut it from my chest. I am so sorry that I have waited until now to tell you. I am so sorry if I have given you false hope. I am so sorry that, even now, I cannot face speaking these words aloud. You deserve better than my cowardice.

I am sorry,  
Arthur

**Author's Note:**

> Now with sequel: [Secrets Given Voice](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23484640)


End file.
